One Saturday Morning

I woke up late this morning and was so pissed that my driver isn’t ready yet.  He knows I am a big time checker, and I hate not meeting schedules.  We planned to be at the store by 8.30 am, and then buy the necessities for the food I was preparing for this afternoon.  As it was late already (at least for me),  he ended up volunteering to go to the shop and buy the cheese, sour cream and full cream.

I started to prepare the food sans the sour cream.  He was taking his time, and I might as well prepare other stuff.  I was able to cook 2 batches of croutons, prepare some longanisa mix and he still wasn’t back.  He called a number of times to check up if he’s picking up the right one, and to tell me it wasn’t in the shop.  I had to ask him a number of times to please ask the someone from the shop for help.

2 shops, more than an hour and 4 calls later, he came home with the sour cream, cheese and 1 full cream milk, and 1 skim milk.  I guess he got help from the shop that’s why he got the sour cream, or he eventually found it.  I don’t have the heart to tell him that the full cream milk and skim milk doesn’t mean the full cream I wanted for the salad.  I guess this means cereals for breakfast for the next 2 weeks.

Men!!!

Fork in the Road

I am here once again.

In front of me, I see the fork in the road.

Fork in the Road

What to do?
Where to go?

Shall I go left?

Shall I go right?

…

How come life doesn’t come with a GPS?

Monogamous only by Choice

I was chatting a while ago to someone close to me whose relationship had problems and survived, as she says.  They got married, had kids, husband had affairs (emphasize the “s”), almost separated, and survived.  She told me that even in their age, relationships takes a lot of work to survive.  And then she said that age-old line that “men by nature are polygamous“.  To which I disagreed – in part.

True, men by nature are polygamous.  But, it is not only men that are polygamous.  We all are.  Though there are many who prefers being alone, we still need people to survive.  “No man is an island” as the saying goes is true, as far as I am concerned.  We start out in a family, where parents and siblings and a whole lot of levels of kinship are there to support (in their own way) us no matter what.  We go to schools to gain knowledge and socialize.  We go to work to earn a living, and meet up with colleagues.  We have friends in between.  People thrive in a support group, whatever that group maybe, or we don’t live at all.  People, I believe, are polygamous in nature.

Vindicated

“I can tell you that any couple who can live together in a Kombi van for one year and certainly for two years they’re hitched for life.  He thinks it was the best years of our lives. It was long way back of course. I tell him the best years are still to come.” – Justice Michael Kirby, on his travel to Eastern Europe with long time partner, Johan van Vloten.  For more details on the story of his retirement, click on this link.

He is one of the most prominent character in Australia’s high court justice.  In the news article, he was called, “Australia’s first – and perhaps only – celebrity judge. He is a hero to those who want to concentrate on what the law could be rather than what it is. He is a law reformer of international reknown, a public intellectual who defies labels and a gay icon.”.

Although homesexuality is widely accepted nowadays, there still exists a barrier as to where they normally thrive, or be succesful.  Oftentimes, they are known for their artistry.  A lot have exceled in the field of Arts – entertainment, dance, theatre, hair cutting even.  This is the first time I have heard of a public servant, justice of the high court nonetheless, who have not only accepted himself but went further by “coming out” – quoting his partner’s words “owing it to the younger generation.”

I am not a fan, nor an avid news watcher/listener/ reader here, but Kirby’s life story has touched me.  I know a lot of people who are 1) afraid to show their true self; 2) shows different faces to companions depending on who the company is, and the occasion; and 3) limits their self to what the status quo.  No, this is not only for the gay and lesbian people (I meant no offense, but this is the term I think they would prefer to be called? – I am open to changes, just let me know).  These are for everyone – male, female, young, old – no exemptions.  Here is one person who went for his dreams, and lived life.  That’s the kind of life I would want to live – defiant of the status quo, not hurting anyone else, and just being happy.  To live my dream life, and unfazed by my critics,  full knowing that just like Justice Michael Kirby says,  “I will be vindicated.”

Of Defeat and Victory

“This is sure one of the matches in my career where I feel like could have or should have won, you know, but you can’t go through your whole life and as a tennis player taking every victory you know, that is out there.  You can’t go through your whole life as a tennis player taking every victory that’s out there, you’ve got to live with those but they hurt even more so if you are that close like at Wimbledon or here at the Australian Open that’s what that’s what’s tough about it but I’ve no regrets you know.” – Roger Federer, after losing to Rafael Nadal in the Australian Open, 01 Jan 2009 in a more than four hour- five set match.

“I don’t want to have the last word. This guy deserves it. You played incredible. You deserved it, man.” - Roger Federer to Rafael Nadal, during his acceptance speech.

There’s nothing more glorious than to see a person humbled by defeat, and still manage to show his greatness by congratulating the rival that bought him to his feet.

“Roger, sorry for today. I know how you feel right now, it’s really tough.  But you remember you are a great champion. You are one of the best of history.” - Rafael Nadal, after embracing Federer, during his victory speech.

And it is as commending to the victorious who pays tribute to a vanquished hero.

Outside of the tennis courts, or any game or sports, these words are immortalize everyday for each and every brave individual surging on – the girl at the reception who manages to smile and greet everyone despite having been aware that her fiance is cheating on her; the guy who delivers the parcel who wishes you a nice day even though he’s going home to his sick kid; or the university student who fumbles outside the room, waiting to be told of the exam results – whether he passed or failed.  Life is an everyday risk of winning and losing.  It’s how we deal with what happen that matters.   May we always be as gracious in our defeat as we do in our victories.

*No, I wasn’t able to watch the whole match.  I fell asleep in the middle of the fourth set, and woke up to the six am news.

Love is not most important

I can’t remember the exact moment or who I was discussing it when the idea of arranged marriages came up.  I think it was at work when an Indian colleague had to take a leave to meet his soon-to-be wife a few days before the ceremony.  I couldn’t comprehend how two people who met for the first time and wed the second time, to be married and stay married!  It was then that somebody mentioned that while the statistics of divorce, annulments and failed marriages continue to rise, arranged marriages tend to last longer than those who chose their own partners for marriage.   Unbelievable?  No, I don’t have the statistics to prove it, but somehow the logic is reasonable.  These people, who respected their family traditions, knew fully well that marriage needs work.  It is not about falling in love, and marrying because you love.  What happens when you fall out of love?  Marriage is not about love, it’s about commitment.   Love starts the relationship perhaps, but it’s the commitment that sustains it.  Love is just the cherry on top the cake called commitment.  And Bob Garon agrees.

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It’s easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time—easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely.

Letting Go

I’m learning…

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.
Remember:  The time to love is short.

I love my job!

I had fun reading this .  Well, somebody might have sensed my distraught and wanted me to laugh.  Just in time for the “back to work” season.

*~*~*

I love my job, I love the pay!  I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, he is the best!  I love his boss, and all the rest.

I love my office and its location, I have to gave to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and grey.  And piles of paper that grow each day!

One More Time

Somebody said:

One more time: Live life.  Make a difference.  Touch one heart.  Encourage one mind.  Inspire one soul.

One more time… give another chance.  Live life… despite everything that has happened, inspite of anything that may happen… make the most of what is here now.  Make a Difference… despite the call to respect the status quo, inspite of society’s norm… stand up, stand out.  Touch one heart… despite a cold heart, inspite of the cold words… love, without expecting anything in return.  Encourage one mind… despite a close mind, inspite of closed eyes… stimulate.  Inspire one soul… start with mine.

NYR for 2009: Live the real meaning of life

Keeping the new year’s resolution this year as simple as it can be – Live the real meaning of life.

What is the REAL MEANING OF LIFE?

Give more than you take.  Do your best to leave every situation better than you found it.  Seek beauty in all its forms.  Chase dreams.  Watch sunsets.  Endeavor to use more than 10 percent of your breain.  Don’t stifle your deep-from-the-gut, cleansing laughter.  Take a moment to ponder the enormity of the universe, then admit to yourself that you can’t possibly be th center.  Breathe deeply.  Swim into the dark water.  Let yourself cry when your body tells you to.  Love more.  Delight in silliness.  Don’t be bitter.  Forgive.  Forgive.  Forgive.

Sounds simple?  I’ll try to do my best – that’s all I can promise.